Following Body not Mind

This week I had big plans for this post. I did not achieve them. Instead, I listened to my body as I realised that in order to achieve freedom, I have to listen to the very things that will allow me to achieve all I want, my body.

I was hoping to have the textured t-shirt I have been knitting this week, finished by today. I also had all these amazing ideas on how I could shoot it and show off it to you (these of course came lying in bed going to sleep along with some new plans for my website so stay turned for those). Unfortunately, my body had other ideas on how to I was going to spend my Sunday.

The plans involved A LOT of sleeping, like practically all day and a heap of period pain. Why am I sharing this with you? Because I believe I am in early peri-menopause and to figure this out, I had to do a lot of googling. It is good that woman are bringing to talk about this a lot more however we still have a long way to go. Everyone knows about puberty and hormone changes, hormone changes during pregnancy and menstruation but not at the later end. Its changing but it is still a little taboo. 

In spiritual circles, the there are three stages of womanhood, the Maiden (child), the Mother (when having children is possible) and the Crone (when child bearing ability is over). I do not have an in-depth knowledge of each of these stages however we do all know that transition is always difficult. 

For me, early peri-menopause is coinciding with my path on discovering myself in the new phase, no children, new diagnosis, trying new things. Often this time of life can be seen as a death and rebirth, shedding things that no longer serve you. I am absolutely doing this, but its hard. 

This weekend has been a perfect example of that. The week past has been simple, work and then coming home, listening to Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus (highly recommend and so relevant to this post) and working on knitting my textured t-shirt. Saturday was the same as I was determined to finish this project as it has been ongoing for close to 12 months. Then today, my body said no, not happening. 

On this journey, and setting myself free from expectations, one big step is stepping away from the idea of pushing through and doing what has to be done. Instead, I am listening to by body and what it needs. If we neglect to listen to our bodies, the very vessel that allows us to lead the lives we want, where does that leave us? Yes, I acknowledge that, just like today for me, what our bodies need does not often fit in with our plans and what we want to achieve. 

But, dear reader, what can we achieve if we do not have a functioning body?