How ADHD Medication Improved My Focus and Kickstarted My Blogging Journey

I mentioned this idea in one of my previous blogs and I wanted to talk about how starting ADHD medication has impacted my life. I know there is a lot of differing opinions about medication and the impacts it has on people and children. I want to start by saying everyones experience is their own, as are opinions. This is my experience that I am sharing and that is all. I have no medical background and would never advise anyone to do anything without proper medical advice. 

With that out of the way, on with the show!

I can honestly say this blog would not have started without the help of ADHD medication. I started taking ADHD meds just before Christmas 2024. The change I witnessed in myself was unbelievable. I am one of the lucky ones, I noticed a change day 1 of medication. I don't think I will ever forget it. Why? Because that day I was able to navigate Christmas shopping days before Christmas and came home and cleaned my house.

This may sound surprising to some people, but I am the person who functions very well in my 9-5 job but at home, behind closed doors, it is (was) a different story. Every chore was an effort, I would get tired easily, I would get distracted and never finish a single task. I would look at things that were core to day to day living and I would procrastinate endlessly, always saying, 'yep, I’ll get to that' and never actually doing it (I recently found out this is called freeze procrastination). This cycle went on endlessly and the less I would get done, the more the issues compounded. Grocery shopping and cooking were an issue so we ate a lot of take out, leaving the house if I didn’t absolutely have to, was an issue. Everything was hard work, it was like waking through thick mud. You can still do it, but man is it hard work. As such, any task like navigating crowds or shopping would require me to come home and nap because it was so overwhelmed. Day 1 of medication and I did both and then came home and cleaned my house from top to bottom and made bread for dinner we were having with family that night. I remember sending a snapchat video to my closest friends and listing all the things I had done and say 'who am I?'.

The medication has made mud I struggled to wade through everyday into clear, pristine water I can glide through easily.

Days later, I also managed to go to the supermarket Christmas Eve and not have an entire meltdown over it - that never happens, especially not twice in a matter of days. Now, I am able to get up in the morning and on my days off, clean the house in one go and have time for other things. I can do the hobbies I love and actually plan how I am going to do things. I can control my impulses and focus on what I need to do. As for work, I can now manage stress and high pressure situations and come home and lead a 'normal life'. If I did not have a meltdown at work, on days like these, I surely would have had one when I got home, gone on stress leave or at least locked my self in a dark room all night and not moved. Now, they don’t bother me.

I also have to note that I use the term 'normal' a lot. This is not to say I was not normal before and it is currently frustrating my husband because he always says, 'you were always normal'. For me, I never felt that as I think I have mentioned before. Feeling 'normal' is huge for me and I love it. It is not meant in any derogatory manner to anyone, it is how I describe my experience.

It is these changes that I witnessed in myself that enabled me to begin this blog. I would never had been able to plan, focus and persevere with challenges I have encountered along the way (more on that another time). Pre-medication, I would have thought, 'what a great idea' and jumped into it head first. Then, it is likely I may have got half way through and then encountered an obstacle and the whole project would have gone into the 'too hard basket', never to be seen or heard from again.

Now, I can clearly process my thoughts and focus on myself and my identity in a healthy way. When feeling down, confused or unsure in anyway I can reflect, and approach uncomfortable feelings in a compassionate, kind and loving way. I can sit with feeling uncomfortable, know what it is and let it pass. Formally, I functioned from my unconscious and was reactive to negative feelings. My focus was on things that could instantly make me feel better including binge eating which started after a quit smoking in 2019. I recently found a document I wrote a couple of years ago which was similar to my original blog post. It talked about identity, freedom, non conformity and my desire to write. Unfortunately, this is a prime example of an idea that was actioned in the moment and never followed up, until now.

Self confidence has been another amazing result of medication. I mentioned a little earlier about my use of the word normal. Throughout my life I have always felt like everyone was 'adulting' and mature and I was still a child who knew nothing. I was constantly second guessing myself and looking for validation. Looking back, it is embarrassing how much I sought out validation and how many things I struggled to do without it. It was like somewhere in my subconscious I knew I wasn’t coping with life but I didn’t know why. I know that sounds strange but it is difficult to articulate this sense of not enough (good enough, strong enough, capable enough etc). I was continually unsure of everything! With the assistance of medication, I feel sure of me. I am sure I can cope with that comes my way, I am sure that if I make a mistake I can acknowledge it, learn from it and move on. Realistically, I suspect I was living in fear of the next meltdown. Now, I do not. 

I am not medicated every day. I have a day off once a week however that day is not fun for me. I notice a significant difference in both my mental state and productivity. I cannot concentrate on anything and find it hard to get motivated to do anything. I am in the mud. Luckily now, I know I’m in the mud, what it is and on this day there is nothing I can do about it. There are negative feelings yet I try to rest and recharge. I also sit with these feelings because ADHD and autism is an integral part of who I am. I cannot escape this fact and it is important to embrace all of ourselves, not just the parts we like.

I am still exploring what living with medication means to me. I am still only a few months in and who knows what will happen. Let me know if you have had a similar experience or a completely different one. I would like to hear about all experiences.