This Weeks Theme - Transition

Hello my friends and welcome to another week.

It has been a massive week for me. I feel like the week that has been has been similar to taking off on a big jet, you are pushed back into your set and know where you are heading but for the time being you are thrust forward with very little control. This has been true for me both at work and at home. 

My full time job has its ebbs and flows like any other job, this week was just one of the busier ones. My personal life, well, what transpired is not unusual but at the same time felt horrible. I will not go into to much detail out of respect for my son. Lets just say transitioning at 18 from child to independent adult can be tricky. Independence is wanted but parents rules still apply, conflict often ensues. In our case, it has been escalating and finally boiled over. 

My son left home. 

This is good for both him and I but the circumstances were less then ideal. 

Parenting is hard. 

When you have a baby, they tell you about the terrible twos and tantrums and teething and sleepless nights. No one tells you, the sleepless nights continue - they never go away, except the sleepless nights move from a sleepless child, to an adult who you worry about and lose sleep because of the worry. Whether it is because they are out on the town with friends or you have had conflict over something, or many things. 

This week I have spoken to many people I know about what I have been experiencing and it is not unique to us, it is common with every parent I spoke to of children in the  17-20 year age group (and sometimes older). We need parenting classes on how to deal with this because there is plenty of support when raising babies and children. Come to the teenage years and there is nothing. The end of the teenage years and early adulthood even less. And to be honest, I have found this time the most difficult. It is emotionally draining. 

For, me these feelings are compounded because I question how much of this is a result of being undiagnosed for so long and raising children. Had I understood myself better would I still be dealing with the same issues. Most probably, but I still cannot help but have these questioning thoughts. That is another thing that I think parents should be taught, how do we deal with the questioning and self doubt when our children are adults out in the world. Have I done enough, will they be ok? There has been a lot of tears this week and a lot of time looking at old photos and wondering how we got here.

To try to save myself a lot of hours spent ruminating, I decided to lose myself in a book. I decided to put all the books I was reading back into my TBR and start fresh. I have Moon Over Soho (book #2 in Rivers of London series) by Ben Aaronovitch. Its urban fantasy meets British crime and I LOVE IT! I also started Bridgeton #2, The Viscount Who Loved Me by Julia Quinn. I love a good historical fiction book and a little romance is always good for the soul. 

The Viscount Who Loved Me is set in 1814. Upon starting the book, I had the random thought, I wonder where my family was then. WELL, look out because this one little innocuous thought had been deep diving into ancestry.com and researching my family tree. There has been all sorts of surprises found and I have had so much fun doing it. Just incase you are curious, around 1814, my great great great grandfather on my Dads side was a little boy living in Ireland. 

Apart from this, I’ve done a little bit of book decorating and some knitting. My husband and I spend the weekend watching movies. I highly recommend the new movie, The Gorge. I loved it so much I wanted to watch is again straight after. It has Miles Teller in it and Anya Taylor-Joy. Ive also played a little bit of Disney DreamLight Valley on my Switch. Its all about the comfort and cozy vibes when you aren’t feeling the best. 

One of my many knitting projects

I am hoping next week is not quite as full on. I have been feeling like I want to try painting but well will see what happens. 

I hope you all have a wonderful week.

Take care of yourselves and please leave a comment and say hi